old silver, old women and grace

I opened my silverware drawer this morning to get a spoon for my tea. The old silver, some bent and worn, caught my eye and I stood remembering... giving thanks... for the women who had come before me and left me this silver treasure.
I have always been a stainless kind of person... no muss, no fuss, no polishing. When the children were at home, stainless forks and knives could be replaced inexpensively. If a spoon got left at the lemonade stand and lost, there was no reason for trauma. Leaving serving spoons at church potluck dinners was an inconvenience not an emotional loss. But, that changed a few years ago.
My mother and I were helping clean out Michael’s parents house after his mother’s death. There sat the set of sterling silver in a beautiful wooden case... lovingly collected during her lifetime and used at all the family dinners. My first instinct was to sell it but mama stopped me. "You might be sorry someday that you didn’t keep it", she said. So, I kept it, brought it home and put it away.
A week or so later as I was unpacking boxes of our kitchen equipment that had been stored while we built our house, I found another treasure trove of old silver. It had belonged to my grandmother, my Aunt Nina, Uncle Carl and my great-grandmother... beautiful old silver... soft... worn... the patina from years of use. It had been packed away all the years I had been raising children.
What was I saving this for? I decided to put all the silver in one drawer and use it everyday... everyday... not just for special occasions... not just for big family dinners... but everyday. When I get a spoon for tea, I can choose to remember Aunt Nina and use her Art Deco style silver... or I can choose a spoon that belonged to my great-grandmother... or I can remember Ann Hester and her spectacular parties as I use one of her spoons. And guess what? I don’t have to polish the silver! Since we have well water, there is no chlorine in the water to tarnish it. It can go through the dishwasher and come out looking lovely.
So many of the beautiful, wonderful, good things in my life stay packed away... waiting for the right time to enjoy them. When the children are grown... when we have more time... when the house is finished... when we retire...when I get the list all done... when I have it all together... That time of perfection will not come while I am alive.
What am I waiting for? My life drawer is full... not with good underwear and clothes to be saved... but with joy and peace and love and community and hope. It is time to unpack them and begin to savor their presence in my life.
The writer of Proverbs said "Keep and guard your heart with all vigilance... for out of it flow the springs of life". My heart can be found in old silver... stray dogs... Daddy’s cows... the farm... Michael... our children and grandchildren... a full moon on a clear, cold night... my friends... my church... my God, the fount of every blessing in my life. As I write, I am unpacking my drawer to share with you. Thanks be to God for friends like you... you are guarded in my heart and are a part of the springs that flow bringing life to me.