the living of prayer

Once upon a time, long, long ago, I had a conversation about prayer with my friend Pitts. Having grown up in traditional Southern Baptist homes, we were taught it was supposed to work. Neither of us was sure about how it worked but we were sure that it does work. Pitts spent her life as a religious professional wandering in the wilderness peculiar to those who do faith as a calling. Some of her life she wasn’t sure about prayer. I had never doubted the act of prayer but I had wondered if it really made a difference. That doesn’t make much sense when I write it down but it seemed the best answer for me for a long time. My understanding of prayer has come full circle in a way I never anticipated.
The act of prayer... the living of prayer... has become a part of my soul’s daily life. I breathe... I pray. I walk... I pray. I eat... I pray. I wake up in the morning and see the bright sun and I pray a song of praise for this beautiful day. I call my friend who is struggling with grief and I pray in my heart as we talk. I see the new baby bull Betty and thank God for Betty Brigmon and for new life that follows death. I drink from a pewter goblet given to me by Pitts and I pray for her. I remember how she taught me the ABC prayer for those nights when I can’t sleep. You pray through the alphabet... one person per letter. This time of writing in the morning is a prayer for me... for each of you who read it... for the God who created me.
My soul and spirit would shrivel up like the grass in South Georgia July sunshine if I couldn’t pray. I still don’t know how it works... when it works... if it always works... but I believe it is as necessary to my soul as breathing is to my body. I’ve tried many different ways to pray and they have all worked. Some suit me better than others. Some suit different seasons of the year better than others. Some I really have to practice to find meaning in the prayer.
My quiet prayers seem to come when I sit my soul down and get still. Whether I am lying in bed watching the sun rise over the distant mountains... sitting on a rock watching the stream flow by... silence during worship. Be still and know that I am God... those words float through my heart when I am quiet and I can begin to hear prayers that come from deep in my soul. These prayers feed me... water the roots that have grown over the years as I grow towards God.
I pray for other people... known and unknown... and for myself. My childhood teachers called this intercessory prayer. This kind of prayer gives many folks spiritual indigestion. They can swallow the prayer that rises up from within but have difficulty with prayer having much impact on the outside world. It is a mystery but I believe the contemplative monks are right. Prayer for others does make a difference... a difference for the other person and a difference for me. I have been prayed for... it did matter. I have friends whom I can call and say "Pray for me"... they call and say "Please pray for me"... Pitts and I decided the positive energy that flows from concentrated prayer for others must make a difference... we are taught in science that for every action, there is a reaction... why should prayer be exempt from this natural law?
An old hymn says it best... "Prayer is the soul’s sincere desire, unuttered or expressed; the motion of a hidden fire that trembles in the breast. Prayer is the simplest form of speech that infant lips can try; Prayer the sublimest strains that reach the Majesty on high. Prayer is the contrite sinner’s voice returning from his ways, while angels in their songs rejoice and say, "Behold, he prays". Prayer is the Christian’s vital breath, the Christian’s native air, his watchword at the gate of death; he enters heaven with prayer".
So I pray... I live... all of my life is becoming a prayer and I am grateful. I am grateful for those who pray and those who can’t... I am grateful for those who pray for me and those who don’t... I am grateful for teachers and friends who have helped shape my prayer life... I am grateful for the God who created in me a heart that can sing prayers of thanksgiving and praise and sorrow and joy and peace and loneliness and anger and hope and love. Thanks be to God...