scooping the poop

Two of my friends, Caleb and Katy, came to work at the farm last Saturday. This was their first job for pay and they were very good workers. The first job was picking up all the scrap wood around Junie B’s new fence. Then the wood boxes for three houses needed to be filled with kindling and wood. The final job was scooping the poop.
One of the ways we are reducing the amount of hay we need to feed is by letting the cows out to graze on the unfenced hay fields. Naturally they do not stay on the unfenced fields but roam at will, ending up in my side yard for their siestas. I must admit as the daughter of a farmer, it is sweet to look out my window and see Ferdinand the bull in all his humongous splendor, resting and chewing his cud. His calm friendly phlegmatic personality always gives me pleasure and reminds me of my daddy. The little bulls cuddle up next to him and they lie in a family circle, all the boys snuggled up together. They drink from the old syrup kettle in my side flower bed that was their water source on my parent’s farm. I have to watch and make sure the koi don’t get left high and dry. All this cow activity in my yard results in large deposits of cow poop, a veritable minefield of poop, that snags the unwary and unaware. So before the grandchildren come for Christmas, we needed the poop scooped.
I handed Caleb and Katy two shovels and gave them instructions... scoop the poop, put it in my flower beds, rake the left overs so they will dissolve when we get rain. Katy’s shovel was a little heavy and the piles were really big but she managed to scoop by dividing the piles in half. It didn’t take long for the yard to be cleaned up. We leaned on our shovels and surveyed the yard, proud of our work, and watched as Ferd wandered through the front yard pausing long enough to deposit another fresh pile.
On this first day of Advent, I am reminded that my life, like my yard, needs some cleaning and clearing. During the past year I have often wandered on my way and lost the hopeful expectation of love, joy and peace. Piles of frustration, grief, hopelessness, hurt and anxiety dot the landscape of my heart weighing my soul down, keeping me stepping from one little clearing to another without a sense of direction or purpose. Before I can celebrate Advent, I must stop and settle, survey my soul’s yard and begin clearing away the messes left from the year past. It will require an examination, a close look at the painful places, the messy piles, so I can honor them as silent witness to my passage through the year 2007. My darkness, my shadow self is a balance for the reflection of my shining soul.
Darkness is as necessary to our soul’s growth as it is for flowers to bloom. Poinsettias and Christmas cactuses require a certain amount of darkness or they cannot bloom. My soul cannot bloom without time spent in the night that gives time for rest and renewal and recognition of my truest self. In darkness I can see the places where I have faltered, stumbled, wandered, hurt myself and others, lost the sense of the Presence that calls me to the light.
In honoring my imperfection, I can release my failures, ask God’s forgiveness and once again search for all the hope, love, joy and peace that surround me everyday. After I have passed through the darkness of Advent, the dark night of soul cleaning, new light will come. I will see clearly again, walk without worry, wait for the coming of the Christ Child with a whole hearted soul, clear eyed vision, songs of praise and a straight path full of hope, love, joy and peace. "The people who walked in darkness have seen a great light; those who have dwelt in a land of deep darkness, on them has the light shined." May it be so, Lord, this Advent. I yearn for the light to shine on me. And, I want to be your Light for those around me. Let me be light, let me walk in light, let me share the light, let me see your Light, let me find your Light in my life this Advent Season as I walk through the land of deep darkness.