they came bearing gifts...

They came, dressed to the hilt in party dresses and high heels, coats and ties, make-up and jewelry, Santa hats and faux tuxedos, full to overflowing with themselves and the season. It was the second annual formal sit down dinner for the youth group at our house last night. Michael, Pam and Dianne planned this for the first time last year. It was such fun for us all that we decided to make it a tradition. Michael is the chief cook and begins planning the menu early. Last year it was Lemon Chicken a la Michael. This year it was pork tenderloin with loaded mashed potatoes and home canned green beans. Pam provided chocolate fondue for dessert. One of the adults at church, Carol Duin, volunteered to come, wash dishes and serve as way to meet the youth A trip to Sam’s to buy food, a week spent cleaning and decorating, setting up the tables to seat twenty, putting out my great-grandmother’s and great aunt’s and Mommy Ann’s silver on the red tablecloth with white china and red and green glasses, lighting every candle in the house... getting ready for a party with cherished young adults in the making.
I stood and watched them as they ate... good table manners, conversation, behavior that would have made every parent proud. Many of these children I taught in Sunday School for several years. I remember them then and see them now... it takes my breath away. In the blink of an eye, they have been transformed and are now beginning to fly... and drive... on their own. Two of the group came back from the land of college as first semester freshmen. They had stories to tell of cafeteria food and eight o’clock classes. Our single senior, as is the custom, was allowed to pick her seat of choice for the dinner, She chose the gilded chair at the head of the big table. Laughter, mock fights over white elephant gifts (I think they were pretending to fight over the gum ball machine), chatter and giggles, sharing of home made cookies, comparison of high heel styles... nothing of substance and yet everything of importance was present at the party last night.
Adults who love these almost grown up children served them dinner, a visible sign of our respect for them and the world they inhabit. They are our future and we honor the adults they are becoming. We gave them our best last night. A pretty, safe, comfortable, warm, hospitable environment where they could relax and practice community. Snow swirled outside with winter winds blowing. Inside, a warm fire burned and Christmas music played. All were welcome and all were made welcome in different ways. The group picture taken in front of the fireplace shows bright faces full of promise and joy. For a little while, they do not have to be anyone but themselves and it gives us all such joy to be included in the fun.
They have no idea what gifts they give those of us who love them. Some came bearing hostess gifts... pecan pie in a jar, a cartoon book about farm life... but all of them brought the gift of their presence in our lives. I cannot imagine a life without the energy and enthusiasm, fractiousness and friendship, laughter and tears shared with these special children.
They give me the gift of remembrance. I remember who I was at that age... remember hot dog cook outs at the Zipperer farm and Sunday night youth group... remember and give thanks for adults who loved me into adulthood in the church. I remember other grown-ups in other churches who loved my children on mission trips, at parties, at Sunday night gatherings and at camp. I am grateful for the important gifts of friendship given to my children at church.
They bring me the gift of the present, a right here and now enjoyment that leaves behind the worries of tomorrow. Their ability to live in an immediate state of being, still children under the glitter and glitz, reminds me to enjoy the moment because that is all I am promised. For the moment last night, we were present to the present of the present... living in the pleasures of the moment with gratitude.
They give me the gift of the future. When I watch them I see adults of great promise emerging from the cocoons of childhood. Dancers, peacemakers, writers, engineers, musicians, actors, doctors, teachers... a world of talent and giftedness is contained in this small community of soon to be grown ups. The world needs their compassion and love and humor and laughter. So do I. I thank them for all the hostess presents they brought last night. They were gold, frankincense and myrrh for my soul, wise women and men in the making bearing gifts for all the adults who love them.
P.S. Lee, who took the gum ball machine, after several exchanges, endured much verbal abuse (I hate you, I can’t believe you did that, etc.) gave the machine to Peyton as he left. He had gotten it and saved it specially for her since she loved it so.
P.P.S. Special thanks to Carol Duin who donned a waiters apron to come serve and wash dishes
P.P.P.S. Extra special thanks to parents who share their children with us at church.
Peggy Hester