Limping towards the Resurrection...

The two sisters stood side by side, once dark hair now moonlight white. They watched as the casket was moved to the grave, both now widows. They had met their husbands during the War, married and lived lives in different states but their sisterhood remained strong. The cousins, Eddie and Ken, whose father had died, and I lined up behind them. There was an empty space, a hole where my sister should have been standing. The four of us had been playmates at Cloverly our beloved grandparents home. The family of my childhood has been diminished in numbers by death.
Aunt Peg, Eddie, Ken, and the grandsons moved to the chairs and the graveside service began. It was simple. There is no room for "theologizing" standing by a grave. The open grave is a stark reminder of the death that awaits all who live. It is as much a part of life as birth. My grandma told me that as we stood by my granddaddy’s casket when I was in my teens. Life lived with other deaths that have come has taught me the truth of her words.
I watched as Mama and Aunt Peg leaned into their sisterhood, remembering good days and hard times long ago, telling each other what to do as sisters will. Aunt Peg, the older sister, loves to worry about her baby sister. And, mama, the baby sister, loves to worry about her older sister. Daily phone calls keep the connection strong and they depend on each other for the ties that bind. I watch them and am swept with grief as I miss my sister. We will not have the sweetness of shared old age memories.
When I woke this morning, my dark bedroom was flooded with moonlight. The full moon was setting in the west, giving light as it settled down behind the mountains. I sat and watched, waiting for my soul to settle with the moon. And as I waited, I remembered the story of Jacob wrestling with the strange man.
Jacob was traveling to meet the brother he had cheated out of a blessing years ago. When they got close to home, he got news that Esau, his brother, was coming to meet him with four hundred men. That scared him a little so he divided his family and possessions so all would not die if Esau was still spoiling for a fight. The night before they were to meet, Jacob couldn’t sleep. He had sent his family away to safety and he was alone. A stranger shows up and somehow they get into a wrestling match. Like so many Bible stories, details are sketchy about how things happen but the outcome of the match is clear. Even after the stranger dislocates his hip, Jacob holds on for dear life and refuses to let the man go without a blessing. Finally the stranger asks his name and delivers a stunning message. "You shall be called Israel because you have striven with God and men and have prevailed." Jacob says, "I have seen God face to face and yet my life is preserved." As he limped off, here came Esau and the unexpected happy reunion began.
Like Jacob, I am limping a little this morning after struggling with the angel in Richmond this weekend. Like Jacob, glad reunion in the midst of loss balances the scales of life. Like Jacob, I can say I have seen God face to face and my life is not just preserved but I am prepared, made ready for all that is yet to come. Death and life, life and death... both are necessary and cause for rejoicing. In my endings are my beginnings. Nothing can separate me from the God who is Love. I may be limping a little this morning but like Jacob, I am holding on, refusing to let go until I am blessed, on my way to Resurrection.