Barney's Conversion

Like Saul on the road to Damascus, Barney has seen a great light and been converted. Barney, a black mouthed Southern Yellow Cur, is a dog of massive proportions and a heart to match. This giant of a dog wandered over the hill at the farm wounded in body and soul. Barely healed torn places on his body matched the fear of humankind in his heart. Men wearing baseball hats, cameras, strangers to the farm, occasionally us, sparked a deep remembered hurt place in Barney and he responded with LOUD barking and fake charging. After two years of loving feeding walking talking living with us, Barney still approached us shyly and never came in the house. He was deathly afraid of being closed up in a space so we had to trick him to get him in the basement during winter’s bitter cold. When fed, he backed away and waited until you left to approach his food. Once in a great while, he would come to you and let you pet him.
We made the decision to neuter Barney hoping it would calm him down. The horse vet left me some ACE, an animal tranquilizer, to put on his food. “It will put him in a very calm place. He might pass out. You’ll have no problem getting him to the vet,” he said. R-i-g-h-t... I called my women friends to come and help me lift Barney into the car. I called the vet and had them lined up for immediate surgery. I gave Barney the ACE and we sat and waited and watched. It took about ten minutes to see Barney begin to get drunk. A slight case of the staggers and a quizzical look on his face, like some other drunks I have known, signaled the drug was at work. But every time I approached Barney, he lurched away and would not let me get near him. After an hour of trying to get Barney in the car, we admitted defeat and left him to sleep it off.
When the vet returned the next week, I asked for a bigger dose. Reluctantly, he measured out a dose of ACE for a 105 pound dog cautioning me about the dangers of an overdose. After he left, I gave Barney the drugs and watched. No staggers, no running to and fro, just a gentle calm and he climbed into the front seat of the truck like a veteran passenger. When I got out with him at the vet’s office, no one believed my stories of Barney’s behavior because all they saw was a lovely, well behaved, sweetheart of a dog, all 104 pounds of him. When I picked him up later that day, he was still groggy and had had a second dose of ACE so I could get him home. After he slept off the effects of the drugs, his behavior was somewhat calmer but the skittishness, fear of people and enclosed spaces was still there. Then came Rufus...
Rufus came to the farm on Monday night. Tuesday morning, Barney and Rufus met. Barney is a gentle giant with dogs, aloof and uninterested in the usual dog antics. He lets LuLu, a friend’s Corgi, hang on his neck, nip his legs and gambol around him without any complaint. When it gets to be too much, he leaves. But Rufus was different. He didn’t respond to Rufus’s attempts to play but when Rufus came in the house, Barney was right behind him. When Rufus jumped up on the sofa to nap, Barney took the other side. When I sit at the computer writing, Rufus and Barney keep me company. Barney is now a house dog, all 104 pounds of him. Occasionally he will get up and come lay his head in my lap searching my face for a loving response. He gets one.
I don’t know what caused the change... jealousy, competition, seeing Rufus’s overwhelming friendliness and our response, an assurance of safety in the presence of a young dog... it doesn’t matter. Barney is a changed dog with us and I am grateful for his conversion. Overnight he has learned he is safe with us and his desire to be close to us is sweet indeed. Barney lies at my feet dreaming dog dreams while Rufus sleeps on the sofa with his head hanging off the edge. I speak Barney’s name and he lifts his huge head up, sleepy eyes focused on my face as I rub his head and scratch his ears. No fear, no anxiety, no worries... all is well.
Like Saul who became Paul and Barney the Frightened who is now Barney the Beloved , I have hope that conversion will come again to my soul. Every year, I watch and wait for the arrival of Emmanuel, God With Us, hoping that I will be made whole and brand new, calm and at ease in my soul as Jesus, the Bearer of Good News comes to live with me again. Hope and love (a dose of ACE and Rufus) worked a conversion miracle for Barney. I live in Advent anticipation of my conversion changed life that will be my best Christmas present... for myself and for my God. May it be so, Lord Jesus.