The best boy I ever knew...

This was written by our middle daughter Alison. She read it at her grandfather's funeral. It is another rich Christmas memory maker. Peggy

Hi Daddy. Below is a little thing I wrote about Daddy O. I did it more to include in Aidan's memory book so that he would have something about Daddy O. I have struggled this week with some moments of grief I did not expect. It has been a lot more sad than I had anticipated ~ probably due in part to the fact that I have not seen Daddy O in so long so his spiral downward wasn't as present to me as Mommy Ann's...but also probably because they are now both gone. Feel free to share...but just thought you might wish to read it.

Love you
A


Once Upon a Time (I am told by my son that this is how every story begins...and so it is...) there was this very special man. He was a wonderful servant of God in so many ways and to so many people. Civil Rights struck a cord with him ~ and he lived out his beliefs of equality in every aspect of his life. He did so many wonderful things ~ but to me, he was "The Best Boy I Ever Knew." He was Daddy O ~ husband to Mommy Ann; father to my father and to my uncle; and grandfather to me, my siblings and my cousins. I never knew him as H.O. Hester or Dr. Hester or even as Herschel Odell ~ and certainly not to diminish any of his many accomplishments and roads he has paved because his impact here is tremendous ~ but in my life the impact is far different as he was "The Best Boy I Ever Knew."

When my father called to report Daddy O's passing there was relief because we all knew he had been suffering and longed to be with Mommy Ann. We knew that he was in a much better place now ~ a long awaited journey home. A little sidenote ~ I found it fitting that he was returning to my grandmother just before Christmas ~ a holiday that reminds me most of Mommy Ann as she always seemed to enjoy the celebration. I figure he just did not want to be late for the huge party she must throw in Heaven...one adorned with holiday decorations including tiny elves she likely puts in the heavenly potted plants.

While Daddy O's passing was very expected and a relief in ways ~ I found myself a little shocked at the thought that he had died. I kind of found myself thinking I was being a bit silly at being shocked ~ he was 96 years old. This probably came for a few reasons ~ one, because Daddy O has suffered many setbacks in the last year and half somehow always managing to find his way back to a steady beat and I guess in some way I had believed this would continue to happen. Afterall, he is one of the only men I have ever seen lift a railroad tie at the ripe ol' age of 85 after countless hernia surgeries ~ to say he is the strongest man I have ever known would be putting it mildly. But I also think that even though we have known he was failing ~ his actual passing signified a moment when I had officially lost all living connection to Daddy O and Mommy Ann as my grandparents...kind of a rite of passage into full fledged adulthood. I know you might think ~ adulthood should have come to me before the age of 34 (afterall I no longer live at home, am married and have a 3 1/2 year old son) but somehow your grandparents can always make you feel the comfort of childhood again in a way that no one else can. I cannot think of moments at Daddy O and Mommy Ann's that were not filled with the following items: popcorn, grape Check Soda, frozen bananas, chocolate chip cookies, and banana nutbread ~ all accompanied by some of my happiest family together times with my cousins.

So while I am relieved that Daddy O is together again with Mommy Ann ~ I cannot help but grieve. But in my grief, I have been blessed. Blessed with having had him as a grandfather to help guide me in my religious and cultural beliefs. I have been blessed with the treasured memories of days gone by spent sleeping in the little house (the grandkid quarters on Bankhead Street in Mongtomgery) with my cousins. And since we are at Christmas I will tell you a short little moment that I think sums up to me all that Daddy O is in my heart ~ growing up our family liked to help provide Christmas for a family that would have otherwise been without. One year (in Louisville, KY) we provided for a single mother that was pregnant with her third child. Luckily she had been involved with a program that provided safer housing for women in her situation ~ and so she was living in an apartment with an elderly woman. I can vividly remember a few aspects of our taking Christmas for her family ~ we took some of our old toys and children's clothing. We took food for Christmas dinner and probably took some wrapped gifts too. While the adults unloaded the "goods" ~ we played with the young children to distract them so that they could open presents on Christmas Day. I clearly remember Daddy O coming along with us to help ~ and as the mother was saying goodbye to us ~ Daddy O reached out, hugged her and gave her money to be used however it was needed. To me ~ in that moment ~ Daddy O taught me a kindness I carry with me each day trying hard to help others without question. I also often try to remember to hug ~ something Daddy O loved to do (often referring to himself as the Hugging Hester). So while his impact on society, community and religion is indeed great ~ his impact on each one of us is more tremendous. And while I will long to have my grandparents back ~ especially at Christmas ~ I am so blessed to have had such special people as my grandparents. And while this is "the end" to the best boy I ever knew ~ it will never be the end to the impact he has made here.