Theirs was and still is a love story...

Theirs was, and still is, a love match.

She has been my friend for so long that I cannot remember when we first met. I kept her children after school while she worked. We belonged to a women’s group that met for dinner once a month. And when she met James, we were given the great pleasure of seeing their love spring into being. Their children were grown and the scars from their first painful marriages were healed over. It was timing made in heaven.
James, whose wardrobe consisted of polyester, soon found himself wearing cotton and khakis. Cannan floated six inches off the ground lifted by his steady warming love. The sight of them together would make you smile and believe again in happy ever afters. Seasoned by the pain they each had endured, they rejoiced in one another and we celebrated with them.
Their wedding was perfect. Bridesmaids (none of them maids in a long time) wore dresses made specially for the occasion from a fresh floral chintz... curtain fabric. The rest of us were dressed in our best wedding finery and we all were beautiful, wrapped in joy and thanksgiving for James and Cannan. For twenty five years they have lived in loving amity, meeting each challenge with grace and good humor.
It was our great good fortune when they retired near us in Black Mountain. We resumed our custom of celebrating our shared wedding anniversary, July 12. Our friendship never missed a beat. Dinner dates, the theater, potluck meals, Derby parties, farm work... It was a lovely golden benediction, an affirmation of our friendship through the years. And then...
James began to struggle with what were thought to be small strokes. No treatment seemed to help. After a long, confusing time filled with tests and more tests, they discovered he had Alzheimer’s. It was a painful, scary time for them and for all those who loved them. A miracle was on the way, a miracle that did not heal the Alzheimer’s but transformed it into a teaching moment.
Cannan as a PollyAnna makes me look like a piker. She can find redemption in every sow’s ear that comes her way. It might be difficult but she keeps working with it until a silk purse emerges. She and James decided to share openly and honestly with everyone their journey through this next stage in their marriage. No pretense, no pretending, no shying away from the harsh realities... A path was chosen that focused on the gift of the present, the making of new memories and taking advantage of all the help that was available to them from doctors, Memory Care Clinic, Alzheimer support groups and other therapists. Once again, Cannan and James have given us a gift, a living example of loving through sickness and health, a love that grows to meet the need, a love that in its openness and transparency warms us all and we smile still when we see them.
I am sending a video James and Cannan did for the Memory Care Clinic here. James, a peacher and professor, and Cannan, a social worker, have taken this opportunity to share their story in the hope that it might be helpful. Keep the Kleenex handy. This love
story is for real.


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Someone shared this with you: http://vimeo.com/58582155


Cannan & James' Story
http://vimeo.com/58582155

They asked us not to sugarcoat the realities so here it is, straight from our hearts and our experiences. Still want to watch it with you sometime. Thanks for being with us on this journey. Love, Cannan

About this video
"Cannan and James Hyde share their story of living with dementia. James, diagnosed with early stage Alzheimer's disease, and his wife, Cannan, tell how they are living with the challenges of the diagnosis and the unexpected turns it has presented in their lives."

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