Cold winds, bright sun...

The wind was biting cold, searing numb with snow blowing sideways as I went to the stable for morning chores. My Pippi Longstocking red hat kept my ears warm but there was no shelter for my face. Smudge and Bud met me halfway up the hill, ready for breakfast and morning pats. Shirley and Kate came and stood waiting for some attention. We all walked down the hill together, cats twining in and out of the donkey legs. Cats fed, I carried hay to the feeder before I let the horses out. They raced out with tails streaming in the wind, enlivened by the cold. After breaking the ice on the water, I cleaned the stalls while listening to NPR. As I made my way back up the hill, I stood by Junie B, my face buried in her flank, smelling the sweet horsiness, slowing my soul down.
It has been a sorrowful week for those of us here at Sabbath Rest Farm. We are preparing for the bodily departure of David Bair, our dear friend. Plans are being made for a Brats and Beer covered dish party after the memorial service at the party barn. David laughed at that idea. We will plant a redbud tree in his honor at a place Dianne chooses. We have been blessed to have him as a part of our lives these past years.
This morning the snowy wind is gone, replaced by a bright hard edged sunshine light in a clear Carolina blue sky. In this light, I can see far away the overlapping mountains that seem to roll like ocean waves towards the horizon. It is a beautiful day, not yet spring but on the edge of new life...as is David.
I am transfixed by this period of time in-between, luminescent and light filled even as the cold winds of death claim the body. Life seems more alive, more precious in its immediacy, and infinitely more loving as the extraneous is stripped away. The everydayness is held at bay in the joy and grief of the moment. I find myself holding my breath as David becomes a new creation.
In the midst of life, we are death. And, in the midst of death, we are life. The resurrection paradox will not let me go as in David’s dying, I am forced to face my own limitations. I will not live forever and someday, I will be where David now is. That is as it should be. Only God is forever, limitless loving presence that is the essence of past, present and future. Letting go of the illusion of my everlasting life, I am free to fly to the One who knows me and loves me anyway, free to be, free at last even if just for a moment in time.
Dear One, hold those of us still tethered to earth in your loving light as we struggle to let go of the one we love. Be patient with us, Lord, as our souls and minds mired in earthly clay are weighed down with sorrow and grief. Give us grace, please, and a glimpse of the life yet to come beyond death as we wait with David and Dianne here by this beautiful river that flows by the throne of God. Amen.