Providence...Sows' ears into silk purses

She is approaching the end of her first death anniversaries. Having survived the holidays, she now marks the first time he went to the hospital, the last family game weekend, the beginning of in-home hospice care, the day he left home for the last time carried by the capable hands of men he thanked for their care. Other moments carved by grief in her heart, known only to her, pass unnoticed by friends and family. From single woman to beloved and loving wife to widow to the as yet unknown… it has been a testament to the healing power of love even when the one you love is absent in body. She still weeps but she can also laugh when remembering him. She is learning to turn the sow’s ear of loss and grief into the silk purse of love and gratitude. It has not been an easy or wished for journey but a rich one, nonetheless.
Being present as her friend during this past year, my own memories of grief have informed my responses to her and to myself. One thing I know… God’s providence provides what we need for our transformation in the midst of pain and suffering. All that is required of us is to do the work that brings new life from death. It is hard, painful, messy work that does not have instant results. Often it can be years before we can see clearly the butterflies that come from the cocoons of grief. The wisdom that comes from this work is hard won and not easily expressed in words.
“Providence is the faith that nothing can prevent us from fulfilling the ultimate meaning of our existence. Providence does not mean a divine planning by which everything is predetermined, as in an efficient machine. Rather, Providence means that there is a creative and saving possibility implied in every situation, which cannot be destroyed by any event.” These words written by Paul Tillich are, I think, what my Grandma meant when she told me not to waste my grief. Own it, work with it, do not waste it, and in partnership with God, your saving possibilities can come into being.
Oh Love that will not let us go, give all those who walk the shadowed valleys of grief, strength and joy in the journey. Help us to find in you the saving possibilities for our lives as we search for new ways to be in a world that is strange and painful. Thank you for providential presence even when we cannot see or feel it. We need your tender care. And may we, with your tender care, transform our sows’ ears into silk purses of lustrous sheen. Amen.