an Iris DeMent frame of mind....

I am in an Iris DeMent frame of mind. Bleached blue hot dried out sky... brown dying pasture that provides a soundtrack when you walk over it... no rain to speak of in a month and the earth is baked as hard as a potter’s bowl... no more hay to be cut this season because the drought is sucking the life from our wells, rivers, streams and farms. So I put on a cd, turn the music up loud and sing along, weep along, laugh along with Iris DeMent as she sings what my soul is feeling.
The cd is titled “My Life” and was a favorite of our friend Gary as he faced his death and lived well in spite of it. “No Time to Cry, Troublesome Waters, Easy’s Getting Harder Everyday, I’m Gonna Dance the Shores of Jordan, My Life” ... The words and melodies remind me, prick my heart, send me reeling down the highways and dirt roads of my past until I find my prayers trickling down my cheeks.
This music would have been wasted on me in my twenties and thirties. I had not lived long enough to know the truths of life. No tear is wasted. People die fairly and unfairly. Life is never easy. I can choose to dance on the shores of Jordan until the angels come to carry me or I can sit in sackcloth and ashes, wailing and moaning. My life is just a part of a much larger reality but I did give my mother and father joy, make my lover smile, see new life come into being and catch a glimpse of life beyond this life. I have loved and been loved. I am grateful for all I have been given. The pain and the joy in my life are but a two sided mirror reflecting the fullness of a creation that holds drought and rain, noisy wind and peaceful silence, light and dark.
I, like God’s earth, am never just one or the other but am always suspended between opposites. Living in this creative suspension can be hard for me when I am faced with a decision I need to make, a choice, some life changing options that are not marked with a blazing pillar that leads me to the “right” way. I want answers, clear guides. Waiting, watching, praying, and listening is not easy when I feel like shaking God until I get some response Easy does get harder every day.
For all those who were in worship Sunday morning at the Unitarian church in Knoxville, confronted with sudden harsh senseless for no good reason death and dying in the midst of life and laughter, troublesome waters are swirling around their heads. For those of us who saw the scenes on screens... wild haired assailant who hates liberals... weeping women and men... bewildered children... teenaged girl holding flower bouquet... we swim in the same swirling waters.
Our choice as Christians is a simple one. “So we know and believe the love God has for us. God is love and he who abides in love, abides in God... There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and those who fear are not perfected in love. We love because God first loved us.” 1John 4:16-19
This day I can choose to live embraced by that Perfect Love and cast my fears aside. Drought and rain, life and death, joy and sorrow are all laid to rest in the loving arms that hold me close. It is more than enough.