the tune for dancing is in its place...

I had a hard time settling to sleep last night. I got to gnawing on the bone of a painful decision and couldn’t put it down. Somewhere in the gnawing time, I remember wondering how other people make difficult decisions. Eventually I was able to let go of this particular bone and slip off to sleep.
In the Bible, folks cast lots to make decisions. That seems random and left to chance to us in this day and age. From their perspective, God controlled the decision so I imagine there was a relief in letting go of the responsibility to decide. Heads, I win... tails, I lose. Eeeny meeny miny moe...
Friends of mine formed a clearness committee when faced with a thorny decision that seemed to have no way through the tangle of what ifs. With the help of a few trusted people, they came to a moment of clarity and a way opened up through what had seemed to be an impenetrable impossible impassive problem.
Michael is fond of pro-con lists. In the process of writing down the opposites, often he finds the decision being made as the concrete words pile up. The pro list measured against the con list helps him consider all the facets of the decision. Every now and then, though, a problem presents itself as a choice between two goods or two evils and then the list isn’t much help.
And then there is my decision making process... Some might call it decision by default but I choose to call it waiting on the Lord. When there is no clear easy answer to a question, I go to the wilderness and wait. The wilderness used to be a scary place for me but it has become a familiar resting place for my soul as I sit with the silence and wait.
When I read the stories of Moses going up on the mountain to wait for God’s revelation I am reminded that I need to remove myself from the daily grinding and chewing on the decision. Like Jesus I can choose to enter the wilderness, be still, trust that guidance will come and it will. The wilderness is a state of mind I can visit as many times as I need to in the course of my daily living. While I muck stalls, I can let my heart and mind rest in the wilderness. As I wash clothes and mop floors, I can climb the mountain and listen for the voice of the Lord. When I am teaching, my soul can feel the First Creator all around me helping me create a new place to be.
It is a dance in my life moving from engagement to withdrawal. In both places I find traces of God’s presence. The difficulty lies in knowing when to grab hold and when to let go. In the waltz, one of my favorite dances, the process seems deceptively simple. The graceful bending sweeping circling turning holding close letting go dance is how I want live with God. Like Iris DeMent’s song, I find it difficult to “make the melody sweet but when I lay down the hours, leaving not a trace, the tune for the dancing is in its place. Sweet is the melody and so hard to come by, its so hard to make each note sound just right, but the tune for dancing is in its place”... The dance floor awaits... All I have to do is listen to the music and step out on the dance floor.