Night and Day, You Are the One

The morning light comes earlier now. Gradually, like a cat laid low sneaking up on prey, little by little, light is creeping back into life on the farm. It is no longer dark when Michael leaves for his walk. I do not feed the cows in the dark. Sunrise wakes me now, not the clock. And Christians begin the observance of Lent today, a journey through darkness as the world gains more light, a dark counterpoint to the melody of light. The contrast catches my soul’s eye and highlights the need for both. To be Christian is to struggle with both interior and exterior darkness. One cannot live long in this world without knowing the pain of suffering and sin, one’s own and others. And if you are paying attention, you also know the sheer joy of resurrection and new life. Light needs darkness, darkness needs light, and we cannot live without the presence of both in our lives.
All over the world tonight Christians will be marking the beginning of Lent by marking their foreheads with ashes. We are joined together, no distinctions in denominations or theologies can trump the remembrance of Jesus’ descent into the darkness of death. Just as we join in marking the advent of light into the world with his birth, we now acknowledge the presence of destruction, death and darkness in our world and in us.
I have been reading an interesting book, Blue Like Jazz, by Donald Miller. He tells his story of struggling with the Christian faith, his image of it as something for the intellectually naive. At the heart of his struggle was the magic of being made new and what he calls his sin nature. A political protest march leaves him with the startling revelation that he is the problem first, not the powers that be.
"I know now, from experience, that the path to joy winds through this dark valley. I think every well adjusted human being has dealt squarely with his or her own depravity. I realize this sounds very Christian, very fundamentalist and browbeating, but I want to tell you this part of what the Christians are saying is true. I think Jesus feels very strongly about communicating the idea of our brokenness, and I think it is worth reflection. Nothing is going to change in the Congo until you and I figure out what is wrong with the person in the mirror."
I want to figure out my brokenness this Lent, not fix it, just name it. Fixing comes later. I want to find in my broken places the connection to all those, who like me, are a little cracked and crackled around the edges from suffering and pain, mistakes and sin. In the company of my brothers and sisters who carry their own crosses of darkness, I want to honor the One who made this journey thousands of years ago. Jesus calls me to walk the same lonesome valley he walked, descend into darkness. I must face my own dark shadow self with honesty and courage remembering all the while, night and day, Jesus is the One. Give me courage for this forty day journey, Lord. I am scared of monsters in the dark. Peggy