Friendship...

Warren and Sue enclosed a little calendar in their Christmas letter, a calendar that was initiated in 1884 by Thomas Scattergood,(don’t you love the image in that name?), a Philadelphia Quaker. Like the Quakers, it is plain, with no illustrations, red and black ink, five by seven with a small hole at the top if you want to hang it. This Motto Calendar will rest on my old table desk next to my computer for this year to come. It is divided into months and each month has quotes and a motto on each page. One quote on the January page was about friendship. “A true friend knows your weaknesses but shows you your strengths; feels your fears but fortifies your faith; sees your anxieties but frees your spirit; recognizes your disabilities but emphasizes your possibilities.” William Arthur Ward (1921-1994) USA I am going to count my friendship blessings this month.
First friendship blessing...This year’s crop of Christmas cards was a joy and a pleasure. Pictures of children growing and grown, letters telling the Reader’s Digest Condensed version of lives lived in the year past, beautiful designs and words of faith. All have been saved so I can read and re-read them this month. They are visible signs of friendship, a treasure.
Second friendship blessing... Last night I sat at a table surrounded by women who know how to put my dishes away. They have all been in my kitchen enough to know where the silver goes, how to put up the glasses, where the pans are. A meeting of the Ladies Aid had been called for a mother in distress about a teen daughter who is acting out. We sat at the restaurant, chosen because it makes good Margaritas, and sang our songs of woe, toasted life, laughed a lot, ate and took pleasure in our company. I sat and looked at our group. Once we all belonged to the same church. Now we are Presbyterian, house church, coffee shop church, UCC, no church at all but the bonds formed long ago still hold. Mother to mother, we listened and heard stories of children running off the tracks. There wasn’t much we could do to change children’s behavior but we held each other tenderly last night. That helped us all. And, the margaritas were great. I had two so I know.
Third friendship blessing... my daughters and son. I have daughters and a son whose friendship I treasure. We are not of the same generation and I am their mother, not their contemporary, so this friendship has evolved and is still under development. I can remember clearly how it felt to be their age, raising small children, stretched to the max financially, emotionally, physically. Some days I despaired of ever being able to help my children grow into decent adults. Megan learned her first cuss word from me and used it freely at my parent’s house at the age of three. Alison’s fierce struggle to be her own person began at birth. My son, our third child, was a snuggle child, a lap sitter. And now they are grown up in ways I never imagined, wonderful adults who are making good lives for themselves. They come home for visits, call frequently, take a beach trip with us in the summertime. I delight in their presence in my life.
Fourth friendship blessing... friends through the years. We went to a friend’s wedding this month, a friend we have known for nearly forty years. We drove to the wedding with friends whom we have known for the same amount of time. We had dinner last Sunday night with a friend, my Sunday School teacher when I was a young mother, who is a wonderful example of how to make new friends and treasure old ones. When I look through the Christmas cards and letters, I see friends we have had for years and years. They have seen me through depression, craziness, joys, griefs, hard times and good times, partied with me, cried with me, loved me even when it was hard, put their feet under our table and shared many a meal. They are scattered across the world and periodically, they will show up for a visit. No matter how long we have been separated, we pick up where we left off. A long lasting friendship, like a marriage, is a gift of great value. And speaking of marriage, my friendship with Michael, my husband, has stretched us both in ways we could never have imagined when we took our vows. Those promises we made helped keep us together when times were tough and we are still being surprised by each other.
The motto for this month from my Motto Calendar is... “He is your friend who pushes you nearer to God.” Abraham Kuyper (1837-1920) The Netherlands. I am so grateful for all my friends, new and old, who have been pushing and will continue to push me towards God. Friendship, a heart treasure, a celebration of who I really am and all I could be, is a reminder gift from a God who yearns to share my life. I am blessed and I know it.