Miz Barton's Etiquette Class

Miz Barton’s Home Economics class had a section on etiquette, a learning experience we found hilarious at times. Practicing how to eat and drink and place one’s napkin properly was often ridiculed. The joke was on me, however, because many of the skills we learned in etiquette have been used frequently in my daily life. I learned how to introduce myself and others, how to conduct a polite social conversation, the rules for social occasions, what to do when I didn’t know what to do. My teacher’s insistence that we learn the rules for gracious living and graceful ways to connect to others in our world has provided a life long pattern for living.
One of the first rules we learned was the reason behind all etiquette. According to Mrs. Barton, etiquette existed to help us be kind to one another, to have patterns to follow that made it possible for us to forget ourselves and focus on others. We didn’t have to worry about our own behavior because we would know the right thing to do and would do it. We were free to listen, learn, and like the people around us without any overlay of anxiety or self centered thinking. She was right. Proper etiquette a’la Mrs. Barton is another version of the Golden Rule.
Yesterday I took the van to the mechanic. It was making funny noises even though it had just come out of the shop on Monday. After 167,000 miles, I would be making funny noises, too. One of the mechanics brought me home and as we rode together, we talked. I introduced myself and he introduced himself. We began to have a polite conversation. We talked about children, the economy, grandchildren and work. I learned he had been married twice and raised three stepchildren from his first marriage with his second wife. They had two more children and now have seven grandchildren. Christmas was fun. They draw names for the adults because there are 34 grownups in their immediate family... too many to buy for individually. His youngest daughter, eighteen, graduates from high school this year. She will inherit the family home with the provision that she will not get it until he and his wife die. We laughed and found we had much in common. Thanks to Mrs. Barton, I know how to converse and connect with strangers.
There are days when I wish I could make everyone take Mrs. Barton’s class on etiquette. Life is difficult enough without the added complications of impolite behavior. Reporters would no longer show up at someone’s personal tragedy with a mike or camera to ask “How do you feel?” Grown up people would not tell little children the terrors of the world and load their souls down with adult pains and sorrows. The mechanics and teachers and tycoons in this world would be able to talk to one another instead of at one another. We would let go of our own preoccupations long enough to really see those who live around us and hear the voices of others. The question “May I help you?” would become our new motto or mantra or message.
The Bible gives us rules for living, much like Mrs. Barton, that help us put our lives in order. Love God. Love your neighbor as yourself. Don’t let your hearts be troubled because I am with you. These rules provide for us a safe haven with clearly marked paths of righteousness. If we could learn to follow the patterns provided, our lives could be beacons of light and bearers of gracious good news in a world that is starved for both. This day I will remember Mrs. Barton, remember my God and my neighbor, live with hope not fear, choose light over darkness, and introduce myself to the unknown in my world. May I help you?